i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
