I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
