There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
