Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
