dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
