idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
