just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
