Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
