At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
