I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
