Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
