We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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