i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
