Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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