The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
