I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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