Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Randomize
