i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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