i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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