party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
