Who wears a wallet chain?!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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