Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
