Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
