Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize