why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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