so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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