So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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