Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
