When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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