You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
