Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize