i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
