I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
