Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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