There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
