Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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