There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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