I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
well you can't waste a boner
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
