does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
