u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize