Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
