Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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