i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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