Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize