When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
