i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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