I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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