Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
