If i come over, it means nothing
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
