Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
