Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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