Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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