I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
