Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
