Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I AM VODKA MAN
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
