you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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