walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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