she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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