Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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