I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
