Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
